Bereaving during Covid
My beautiful, precious daughter was hit and killed by an intoxicated driver almost 11 months ago now. Not long after her funeral/celebration of life on October 5, 2019, covid-19 started. At first, I was not affected by it as I was not leaving my house anyway, and it took pressure off me to see people which I did not want to do yet. I needed time to process what had happened to my daughter and start my grief process. I was reading a new grief book every week trying to gain knowledge and understand how this tragedy happened. It was a good "hiding" time for me.
Also, during this time, I started a non-profit, Carly's Way Animal Rescue to honor Carly and continue her life goal of helping save the lives of animals. This took a lot of research and work to get started. A lot of paperwork too! So, the pandemic was not an issue to me and actually, I didn't pay much attention to it. As Carly's Way got started and we were planning and holding fundraisers, covid did not get in our way. We had several organizations associated with A&M, Kappa Delta, and parent clubs assist in the events and also held events of their own to donate funds to Carly's Way. Carly's Way was off with a strong start and had great momentum. Several organizations in and around Frisco also planned events to raise awareness and donate supplies. It was very exciting and I am blessed to be able to carry out Carly's dream.
Everything came to a screeching halt, events and future fundraisers were cancelled, and covid took priority. I was disappointed and distressed about all the cancellations and loss in moving forward. But, this did give me more time to grieve and read more grief books. I also started leaving the house to meet friends for coffee. At this time, there were not many places open which was nice for me. It was still hard leaving my house, but I welcomed trying new places. As time went forward and Texas was opening, I started getting out more and more.
The more I got out to met friends, and run errands, the more I noticed my grief changing. I am actually starting to live life again slowly. I am able to go to several places that I could not before. Covid has given me the extra time needed to think and process my loss. It has been lonely at times, but I am realizing that grief is lonely. Covid or not, no one knows how deep the loss of my daughter is to me and that is what makes this journey lonely.
Covid has affected Carly's Way a lot though which has brought me down. But, I am a fighter, and am looking for ways to move forward with Carly's dream. My motivation is Carly and my love for her which keeps me moving one moment at a time.